When I was young I thought I would have figured it out by now, oh boy how little I knew back then. Love - no one can quite explain and none of us really understand, probably because it takes so many different forms and it's so unique for everyone.
Love is to be alone and find yourself first,
Love is when your dog is excited once you come home,
Love is the job you enjoy or passion you develop,
Love is also to let go, to feel, and learn lessons.
And love is also to be in a relationship that fulfills you.
Through your life, you meet people who have lost their faith, people who confuse clinging & addiction to their own ego with love. You meet people who try to rationalize the most natural thing in the world. But you also meet couples whose energy just makes you believe in love.
Some people say that there are no good or bad decisions, just decisions. It is probably true, because who are we to judge what is good or bad, what is good for you can seem bad for others - everything is a spectrum. But I am sure, we can make better and worse choices, based on the motive behind it. If you decide to help someone out of love or respect, it is different from deciding out of pity or obligation. Staying out of fear or staying out of love is different. Defending someone weaker out of protection or self-ego differ - so you see; there are maybe not right or wrong - this is something each one of us can judge for ourselves
but I think there are definitely choices that bring us closer to happiness, and once which hinder us from it.
The world we live in is very easy to get lost in - to stop believing, to hurt, to cheat, to run. We want this fulfilling love out of someone, to complete us; without realizing that we are the only ones who can do it for ourselves; because no one can make you whole without you being complete. It always takes work to make “love” work. And often "work" would not be enough, because the beauty of love is that it is dependent on two people and you can´t make someone love you, fix or change them.
So I always wondered if there is this one person for each of us? Do the one “true love“ or “soulmate” people talk about even exist?
Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. Maybe there are several and in the end, this doesn´t matter at all. Because truly loving someone is to accept that the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them. As long as you believe it is all worth it, as long as you have all the right reasons, and as long as you make an active choice to love, without expectations or rewards, free from self-desire. By accepting, respecting, and forgiving regardless of the flaws and you would always choose the happiness of the person.
Because I understood that unconditional love is basically accepting people to go their own way, letting them be who they are without wanting them to change in any way and just love them as they are; with or without you being part of their life.
I think the “real deal" love is about understanding & connection, it is about seeing the person, and being seen. Is about trust & intimacy, about sharing with someone the hidden parts but you look into each other's eyes and say ”it's ok babe, it's completely ok, I get it” but is also about telling the harsh truth, especially when you don't want to hear it. I believe what people call “soulmate” is simply someone who will make you the most “you" you can possibly be.
In life there are many things you won't have control over, it just happens - and it's ok, you have to believe things happen for a reason; even though it is hard to believe when life kicks you in the butt. But as long as you believe and open your heart I am sure, you will find the love that is kind, fair, and fulfilling in every form possible.
So please don't stop believing babes, because once you stop; life becomes a sad place to be. Because without love, there is no meaning and without meaning, there is no love.
In the end, it's only our decisions that matter and I would always make a choice over and over to live with a bruised-up, a well-worn heart that gave soo much and loved sooo strongly that maybe, just maybe made someone - believe in love again, just like someone made me believe.
Cheers,
V.
*This is an extremely subjective text from the perspective of a happy girl who has no idea, is single, and hasn't figured it out just yet. So is not to be taken very seriously or personally 😀